


open your eyes (it's time to leave me)

by Nyxierose



Series: (would you want me) standing in the same light [3]
Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: "Whatever happens, I want to remember."Or, a slightly extended version of the 1x16 blue room scene.





	open your eyes (it's time to leave me)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Open Your Eyes" by Andrew Belle.
> 
> Come flail at me about these little darlings on tumblr [@electricbluebutterflies](http://electricbluebutterflies.tumblr.com).

Lucy paces back and forth across the blue room and forces herself to accept the inevitable. Perhaps, if she's right about Flynn's likely last-ditch plan, this will be one of the last things she ever does. Perhaps, in a couple of hours, she will be erased completely. She's not sure the idea actually bothers her as much as it ought to.

This inner darkness is new for her, but she could drown in it if she let herself. Already she sees the insignificance of her life, and that thought alone has begun to take root. Who the hell was she to think she could save the world? That's the kind of honor that's reserved for people who are brave and good, and she's pretty sure she is neither anymore, and-

Hell, she thinks as she hears the door open and doesn't even turn to look, a tragic death might be a lot nicer than whatever the monsters have planned for her.

It's kind of Flynn to actually tell her what he's about to do, and kind is not a word she's applied to him as much as she ought to have. She listens to him explain but hears almost nothing, choosing instead to lose herself in the moment. Even before she was aware, her life was tangled up with his, and it's only fitting he be the one to end it (in a sort of peripherally-involved way). Only fitting that this might end up being the last sweet moment she gets before she's erased.

Maybe, maybe she wants that fate too much.

It'd be easier, a weight removed in the most perfect way. If she ceased to exist, then none of this would matter at all and she obviously wouldn't even know. Hell, if the plan backfires somehow - and she knows in her heart that it will, probably in some form that involves the wrong person getting shot - she'll throw herself into any dangerous situation she can find until something finally gets her. Anything would be better than the weight of what she's done. (She killed the most notorious outlaw of an era. What the _fuck_.) Anything would be better, anything would be-

Somehow, while she's acted on autopilot for long enough that she's not sure how many minutes have passed, Flynn has gotten dangerously close to her.

He doesn't touch her anymore, hasn't since the hostage situation - which, she has to admit, would not have been so bad if there had been better communication. Their encounters since then, she's initiated _everything_ , and she likes the respectfulness of his distance but damn would she be okay if he just leaned down and kissed her right now. But he won't, because… she doesn't actually know why, nor does she want to. Too many complications to that man, and not enough life left in her to care.

"Why did you decide to tell me?" she asks, throwing herself back in the moment as best she can.

"You deserve that much. I don't want to do this to you, but-"

"I don't mind."

He sees the darkness in her. She can feel it, the way he's looking at her like she's some fragile wounded animal, and it hits her that this too is new. The first thing Lucy liked about him - hell, might as well admit it, she'll be dead one way or another within twenty-four hours - was the fact that he _didn't_ do that. Most people see tiny youngish porcelain-doll white woman and automantically think helpless. Not Flynn. The journal _helped_ , she won't deny that element, but she likes to think it would've happened even without the weight of knowing what she becomes. He saw her like no one else ever had, and continued to do so until the one moment she needs it most, and-

"It's not fair to you, Lucy."

"I don't care. And if it works, what I think won't end up mattering anyways."

"It's not like that." He's drowning and doesn't even seem to know it, and if she were a different kind of woman she'd kiss him to make him shut up before he digs himself a deeper hole. (The amount of time she spends thinking about kissing him is starting to get a little ridiculous, but she's pretty sure she's having a midlife crisis anyways _soooo_.)

"Then what is it? You've made it damn clear this isn't personal, and I'm okay with that, and-"

"It _is_ personal. That's the problem."

"Oh?" Oh no, now is not the time, now is not-

"I care about you. Much more than I planned. But there's no other way."

If he's wrong, she can't help thinking, if this plan backfires and there are still years ahead of both of them, there will come a day when she is the strong one. Already she can see the cracks in his armor, the badly-handled emotional pain tearing him apart from the inside. And yet despite all of that, he let himself get attached again - to _her_ , of all people. Not attached enough to keep her safe, but that's okay. Maybe better, even.

She's no one's girl. She knows this. She stopped caring a very long time ago. (She wishes she could say that enough times to believe it.)

"If you fail… find me."

"If I don't get shot first."

"Hundreds have tried," she laughs. "I'm pretty sure you can't actually be killed."

"Maybe if you learned to aim better."

"And lose all this? Never."

She leans up and presses her mouth to his, gentle as she can, imprinting herself upon him. Even if she is erased, he'll remember. Echoes of this moment will last decades, and there is power in that, power as she takes everything she can from him and gives everything in return.

Flynn's hands tangle in her hair, undoing the complicated style she has no hope of fixing on her own, and for a few moments nothing else matters.

If this is it, she thinks, if this here is the last good thing she gets, she's okay with that.

"Find me," Lucy repeats. She likes the way the words sound with her lips brushing against her lover's jaw, in the midst of this innocent closeness. And oh, it is innocent like she never thought they could be. Her suit will stay put, the want she feels will go un-sated, and she does not care.

For now, there is this. She is safe in this set of arms, and as they shift into a slightly more innocent embrace, she knows what has gone unsaid.

Just as well she's gonna die, she thinks. Last thing she needs is someone falling in love with her.

"I will."

He kisses her forehead and slowly backs away, but for some reason doesn't leave as she expects.

"You want something else from me?"

"A few more moments of looking at you. Whatever happens, I want to remember."


End file.
